When Politeness Fails
by obsidianLight16
Summary: Deidara and Itachi didn't hate each other. They just…opted to stay away from one another as much as possible. And it wasn't possible that morning. But then Itachi did the unexpected.


**A/N: I have no idea where this came from- but it needed to be written because I was laughing to myself out loud in public. And we all knows what happens when you do that. Everyone thinks you're weird (I am) and then they scoot as far away from you as possible :P**

**Itachi just cracks me up :D**

**Warning: Language, slight violence, anything else you find needs one.**

**Disclaimer: Too...many...disclaimers! I'm getting sick of writing them! AAARRGGHHH! **

**But besides that- I do not own Naruto or its characters :)**

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><p>Deidara was walking down one of the halls of the Akatsuki base, mumbling under his breath about 'stupid Tobi un' waking him up and 'stupid Sasori-danna' dumping a bucket of water over his head. The three had then had an early morning scuffle which consisted of minor explosions, spinning puppet blades, and Tobi dodging everything going on the blonde's bedroom.<p>

Needless to say- Deidara was _not _in a good mood.

And he had a tear in the back of his cloak.

This wouldn't have been a problem had Kakuzu not started charging everyone 170 ryo for every seam popped on the articles of clothing. In the end, he just left his cloak alone. He was too lazy to fix it at the moment and didn't walk around with thread and a needle like Hidan.

_Frickin' weirdo, _Deidara thought to himself.

Now he was heading for the downstairs kitchen. Odd because he wasn't sure how Pein managed to get a three-story house inside their base.

Which was giant goddamn boulder.

He turned the corner and made a beeline for the stairwell in the middle of the second hall, noticing another cloaked figure walking the same way from the opposite direction. His face subconsciously dropped. _Oh Kami-sama no…_

"Good morning," Itachi politely greeted.

"Not anymore," Deidara scowled, pointedly looking away.

Itachi narrowed his eyes as they approached each other. "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed," he said in a monotone.

"Whatever hmm," Deidara muttered. He was fully intending on heading down with his head lowered, so was completely caught off guard when Itachi stuck his foot out.

"Wha-?"

The blonde twisted on his heel to balance himself, feeling a hand tap his chest lightly. Deidara's eyes widened in surprise before he went tumbling down the base's stairs, the only thing he caught sight of being the Uchiha's outstretched arm.

~X~

Pein slowly blinked, and then turned his head to look at the expressionless Uchiha beside him. "Would you care to explain _why _Deidara has a mask on?" he asked.

Itachi didn't even blink. "I wouldn't know."

The vein on Deidara's head could _heard _popping. "You bastard!" he shouted from across the room, face covered with one of Tobi's masks. Sasori had to hold him back by the collar of his cloak which for some reason only _he _was wearing. "You tripped me down the stairs!"

Everyone stared at him.

"…"

Pein sighed and turned away. "Itachi would never do that. Now I'm going to go back to sleep- same as everyone else you called down here at _one _in the morning to accuse your fellow comrade of a crime he didn't commit."

Deidara gaped. "B-But-!"

That would explain the lack of training clothes everyone was wearing.

Deidara mentally sweatdropped. He hadn't thought of the time. He really just woke up from where he was sprawled at the bottom of the stairs and started screaming accusations.

"Gee- thanks a lot Deidara." **"Some of us like to sleep you know."**

"I should be saying that to _you _bastards un!" Deidara yelled, an eye twitching. "Why the hell didn't any of you wake me up?"

"Because then we'd have to hear your voice," Kakuzu grouched.

"Shut up hmm!"

"Tobi didn't like being woken with an explosion," Madara growled, unable to fully put on his Tobi persona.

"How did you even get into my room?" Kisame asked, dragging a hand down his face. Konan was asleep on his shoulder.

"I picked the lock," Deidara snapped, crossing his arms. "Like every _other _self-respecting shinobi should be able to do."

"I'll kill you later bitch," Hidan muttered, stumbling blindly out their living room.

Everyone else followed in the same manner, shooting the blonde deathly glares.

Sasori rolled his eyes at his partner before knocking him over the head. "You and I are going to have a _nice _training session when the sun rises. So go get your sleep."

Deidara might have been calmed by these seemingly kind words if it wasn't for the sadistic smile on the puppet's face. And the only time Sasori wore a grin when was when he planning the death of enemy nin. "But I'm not an enemy nin Sasori-no-danna!"

Sasori waved over his shoulder as he left. "Sleep tight. _It'll be the last time_," he muttered under his breath.

"I heard that un!"

Soon all the members had left the living room save for a horrified Deidara and silent Itachi.

A silent Itachi who was staring holes into the Iwa bomber's head.

"_What _are you _looking _at?" Deidara hissed, quite angry that no one had believed him. After all, Itachi had been the only one in the corridor with him when he fell- and although they had never actually gone so far as to prank one another- he wouldn't put it past the guy to start now! _Everyone knows Uchihas are sneaky hmm, _he gruffly thought.

Itachi stared at him with a brow raised slightly. "I'm trying to figure out why you accused me of pushing you down the stairs."

Deidara looked at him in disbelief. "Because you _did_!"

"I didn't."

"You stuck your foot out un!"

"So does everyone else that walks Deidara," Itachi said with a sigh. "Look- if you really want to know what happened, I'll tell you."

Deidara narrowed his eye. "Oh please do enlighten me hmm," he sneered, crossing his arms.

Itachi took in the younger male's aggravated stance and couldn't help but smirk. "Fine. You _clumsily _tripped over that rip in the back of your cloak, falling down the stairs all on your own."

"W-_What_?" Deidara took in a flabbergasted gasp, arms dropping to his sides. "I didn't fall on my own! I saw your arm out from where you pushed me un!"

"I tried to grab you," Itachi musingly said.

"…"

"…"

"You tried…to grab me," Deidara slowly repeated.

Itachi looked at him. "I missed."

"Well _obviously_," Deidara snapped, unable to control himself. He pressed a hand to his mask, breathing out deeply. Tobi's mask smelled weird, and it was ridiculously hard to breathe in. No wonder the guy was such an airhead…

"Now that this problem's been solved," Itachi spoke up, looking faintly amused, "I'm going to go get some sleep. And if I were you, I'd try to get some too. Sasori didn't look very happy," he said, beginning to walk out of the room.

Deidara muttered something inaudible under his breath, throwing off the mask on his face to reveal an ugly looking bruise over his visible eye and down his cheek.

Itachi paused in the living room doorway, gracing Deidara with a small smile. "Fix that rip in your cloak, okay?"

Deidara blinked in surprise, mouth falling open a bit. "Itachi…"

Itachi waved a hand behind him as he left. "And put the mask back on."

"Wha-" Deidara's eyes widened in rage. "You bastard!"

Itachi walked down the hall to his room, listening to the blonde's angry screaming with an ever growing smirk. "Baka…"

He _so _did push that moron down the stairs.

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><p><strong>AN: The things that go through my head... **

**Anyhow- this marks the approaching of a 50th story! Hooray! **

**And I have an inkling of what I'll do for it :P**

**Can anyone say an Akatsuki party? **

**^v6**


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